erellsworth 16x9

What About Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

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An ode to modern political discourse, with apologies to Deep Blue Something. You say Trump is making hatred common He's such a racist, I mean come on And the country's falling apart You'll say Trump has been a disaster His administration has failed faster than any other before And I said, ...
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I Was Promised a Thousand Years of Darkness


Dear Customer Service, Early last month I purchased your DIY Armageddon kit from Amazon. For a product that cost over one hundred dollars I expected much better results. The product description claimed it would bring about a thousand years of darkness beginning the morning of August 21st, 2017. ...
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The Adventures of Cliven Hobo


I began this little experiment as a series on Medium. Then I discovered that Medium seems to think that only mobile users would want to read a series and anyone who prefers a desktop browser is just a troglodyte who doesn't read anyway. Since I don't think you're a troglodyte, I'm posting this here ...
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The Lord's Prayer, Updated to Reflect American Values

free market prayer

Bow down and worship the infallible, all-knowing, invisible hand of the free market! Our Market, who art in Freedom™, Hallowed be thy brand. Thy profits come. Thy loans be done on Main Street as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily interest, and forgive us our debt, as we ...
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It's Time to Make Healthcare More American

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The GOP really wanted to repeal the Affordable Care Act. They wanted it bad, like Gollum and the One Ring bad. Repealing Obamacare is their precious. They haven’t shut up about it for the past 7 years but now that they control both chambers of Congress as well as the White House they can’t figure ...
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Fixing American Democracy: Voting Bucks

voting buck

I was excited to see a headline recently about a new initiative in Seattle called the Democracy Voucher Program. Finally, I thought, someone has brought the excitement and prestige of vouchers to the boring old institution of voting. My excitement melted into bitter disappointment when I read the details. All ...
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