Humor

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The Lord's Prayer, Updated to Reflect American Values

free market prayer

Bow down and worship the infallible, all-knowing, invisible hand of the free market! Our Market, who art in Freedom™, Hallowed be thy brand. Thy profits come. Thy loans be done on Main Street as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily interest, and forgive us our debt, as we ...
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We need to talk about pockets

pocket inequality

Dear Pants Maker, First, I’m a big fan of your work. There’s a lot of polarization in the world today but almost everyone can agree that pants are pretty nice to have around. I own several pairs and wear them almost every day. My wife is the same way, always with the pants wearing. We both just ...
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Carnivorous Flying Space Monkeys!

space monkey

Healthcare in America is fucked. One look around will confirm this to anyone with a functional cerebrum. What the cerebrally privileged disagree on is why it’s so fucked and how best to get it unfucked. Some blame corporate greed, others point to government interference in the free market and some ...
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Wilhuff Tarkin statue: heritage or hate?

tarkin bronze

Nestled deep in the rural South, the small fishing village of Dumblebumb, Alabama is home to one of the most unique cultural enclaves in America. A long time ago refugees from a horrific civil war in a galaxy far, far away were rounded up and held in Dumblebumb at an internment camp. The camp whose ...
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I have the same conversation every morning

sleepy lily

Alarm: It’s time to get up. Me: I need 5 more minutes. Alarm: Ok, I’ll remind you again in 5 minutes. Alarm (5 minutes later): You should really get up now. Me: That was never 5 minutes just now. Alarm: Time is the entire purpose of my existence; I think I know what fucking time ...
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