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The Weasel Timeline


In April 2016 a weasel chewed into one of the electrical transformers of the Large Hadron Collider, causing a short circuit and shutting the machine down. What the Fake News won't tell you is that the weasel incident caused a rift throughout the multiverse. The walls that separated each reality ...
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A few high concepts for 4/20

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In honor of America’s favorite unsanctioned holiday, I figured I’d do a little free writing today. Disclaimer: No cannabis was harmed in the making of this blog post. I stopped by the Circle K this morning to pick up my morning breakfast of carbonated high-fructose corn syrup and caffeine. ...
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The Quarterly Oppressor: Mission Statement Mistakes

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Ever wonder what separates a real corporation from some schlub with a small business and a cheap lawyer? The answer is a mission statement. Nothing gives the impression of corporate power and prestige like a well-worded mission statement. But before you go grab a fresh Crayola and start spilling words ...
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I Thought the Nightmare Was Over but Then Someone Said Happy Holidays

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Now that Christmas 2017 is over, I feel like I can come to grips with what happened to me this year and tell my story. I went to my apartment’s leasing office a few days before Christmas to pick up a package from Amazon. Everything seemed normal. The office was festive enough, appropriately decorated ...
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Tis I, the Malevolent Force Behind the Destruction of Your Childhood

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Hello there “real” Star Wars fan. Tis I, the malevolent Force behind the destruction of your childhood. You can call me Bob for short. Don’t think I haven’t seen your angry reaction to The Last Jedi. I’ve seen your online petitions. I’ve read your angry rants. I’ve watched your ...
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5 Mind-Blowing Spoilers For The Last Jedi


I don’t know what I expected out of The Last Jedi but it wasn’t this. Here are the top 10 things that blew my mind about the latest Star Wars movie, which I have not yet seen. If you think the Ewoks forgot all about the deaths on Endor at the end of Return of the Jedi, you’re mistaken. ...
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