The Quarterly Oppressor: 60 Years of Oppression!

martin shkreli
Skip Smuggins

Yes, lords and ladies, this edition marks the beginning of our 60th year of helping our readers oppress the working masses! I remember my first day here, starting as a low-level whip cracker fresh out high school, armed only with a sense of self-entitlement and the blessed nepotism of my father, former Dynamic Overlord Solutions CEO Dale Smuggins.

The world of overlording has changed a lot since those days. Back then we didn’t have to worry so much about things like discrimination lawsuits, sexual harassment claims, and all these pesky safety regulations. I, for one, welcome the change. Sure, it makes it a lot more difficult to keep the peons under your boot, but it’s good for thinning the herd, so to speak.

For many years this industry was crowded with wannabes. I mean who wouldn’t want to be the one with their foot in the steel toes, rather than under them? Today’s litigious atmosphere has weeded out the overgrown schoolyard bullies, leaving only the true tyrants.

So here’s to another 60 years. May the posers return to their rightful place with the rest of the failures, while those with a real talent for cruelty continue to reign supreme. (Along with those who inherit power from their parents, of course.)

Skip Smuggins
Chief Executive Overlord
Dynamic Overlord Solutions