Why These People Hate Stephen King's Clown Movie - I'll be in my Trailer

I’m going to do something a little different for this edition of I'll Be In My Trailer. Instead of reviewing the Stephen King Clown movie I’m going to address a controversy that the mainstream media seems content to ignore. In the process I hope you will come to understand why I’m not using the proper title of the film.

In most cases there are enough news and entertainment outlets providing coverage of any controversies related to a film that I feel no need to address those stories, preferring instead to focus on the amazingly accurate film reviews my fans have come to expect. This is not the case with the film I will henceforth be referring to as The Losers Club.

We’ve all heard about the complaints from actual clowns regarding this movie. Yet there is an even smaller minority that has suffered to a much greater degree since promotion began for this film. This minority is a small ethnic group scattered across the UK known as The Knights Who Say "Ni!"

These simple landscapers have a rare genetic disorder that makes hearing the title of this film extremely painful. Since the days when their ancestors roamed the British countryside in search of new and interesting shrubberies, The Knights Who Say “Ni!” have lived lives of solitude and isolation in order to avoid hearing The Word That Cannot Be Named.

Knights of Ni
A Knight of Ni cries in pain upon hearing the forbidden word.

According to legend, they even once tried to change their identity, becoming The Knights Who say “Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing!” They hoped this change would alleviate their curse. Sadly, the experiment failed and they eventually returned to being The Knights Who Say “Ni!”

The Knights Who Say “Ni!” have more difficulty avoiding civilization today than ever before. The Hollywood hype-machine is so powerful that even the farthest corners of the earth are not safe. Try as they might to remain isolated, they still hear the title of this film on an all too regular basis.

Stephen King is my favorite author. I am sad to see him ignoring the plight of this repressed minority. When one does not suffer from such ailments one might be inclined to dismiss the concerns of people with word intake allergies. Just because the condition is rare and invisible to the naked eye does not mean the pain isn't real. My hope is that Sai King simply does not know of the damage he has caused and if learns the truth he will demand that both his publisher and the movie studio change the name of his film to The Losers Club or something else that will not harm The Knights Who Say “Ni!”