We need to talk about pockets

Dear Pants Maker,

First, I’m a big fan of your work. There’s a lot of polarization in the world today but almost everyone can agree that pants are pretty nice to have around. I own several pairs and wear them almost every day. My wife is the same way, always with the pants wearing. We both just love pants. There’s just one small problem...

What’s up with pockets on women’s pants?

Women’s pants cost more and have anywhere from 30% to 100% less pocket capacity. This seems to be the case for shorts as well. Do you design shorts too, or are you just responsible for pants? I don’t know the ins and outs of the clothing industry. If need be I will compose another letter to the people who design shorts. Please advise.

Anyway, back to pockets. Exercise pants are the worst offender. They often have no pockets at all. Sometimes they’ll have something that’s called a pocket but is actually a 3 inch flap of synthetic fabric just big enough to hold a credit card. That’s not a pocket, it’s the polyester manifestation of an insult to consumer intelligence.

Cargo pants are known for a prodigious amount of pockets but offer little reprieve for today’s modern, pocket seeking woman. We were at Costco the other day and saw a pair of women’s cargo pants with FAKE pockets. As someone in the biz, can you explain to me what the actual fuck? Is there a big demand for cargo pants without the ability to carry, ya know, cargo? What's next, a fanny pack that doesn't unzip just in case you want to look like a doofus?

The few women’s pants we’ve found with decent pockets cost around 300% more than their under-pocketed peers. So I’m guessing pockets are very expensive to make but only for women’s clothing. Do women’s pockets require special material to maintain structural integrity in such close proximity to all that evil vagina magic? That’s probably it, right?

Please don’t take all this personally. I really am a fan of your work. As I said, pants are great. But this pocket thing… it keeps me up nights. Perhaps it’s time for Congress to fund research and development of new technology that can make women’s pockets more affordable. I’m not trying to get political, just looking for solutions.

Or instead of all that maybe, just maybe, you could quit being a slave to outdated sexist design trends and give women the pockets they deserve.



A Citizen of the Internet