Tis I, the Malevolent Force Behind the Destruction of Your Childhood

anakin skywalker crys

Hello there “real” Star Wars fan. Tis I, the malevolent Force behind the destruction of your childhood. You can call me Bob for short. Don’t think I haven’t seen your angry reaction to The Last Jedi. I’ve seen your online petitions. I’ve read your angry rants. I’ve watched your ...
Read More

5 Mind-Blowing Spoilers For The Last Jedi


I don’t know what I expected out of The Last Jedi but it wasn’t this. Here are the top 10 things that blew my mind about the latest Star Wars movie, which I have not yet seen. If you think the Ewoks forgot all about the deaths on Endor at the end of Return of the Jedi, you’re mistaken. ...
Read More

Matthew from the Bible


His name is Matthew, just like the first book of the Bible. That is how he introduces himself. I guess he doesn’t count the Old Testament. He asks what breed our dog is then gives her a vigorous scratch behind her ears. She approves. Matthew looks to be in his mid 30s but it’s hard to know for ...
Read More

Highway Patrol

highway patrol

I got a star on my car and one on my chest, A gun on my hip and the right to arrest I'm the guy who's the boss on this highway So watch out what you're doin' when you're drivin' my way -Junior Brown Scofflaws. Criminals. Lawbreakers. Call them what you want; I call them scum. I’ve ...
Read More

The Meritocracy

ship 2787544 1920

After discussing the situation with his captain the first mate returned to the deck to inform me of my fate. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but we’re going to have to toss you back in.” “What? Why?” “We can’t allow anyone to stay on this ship who doesn’t deserve to be here.” “How ...
Read More

Lost Letters From Cassini

Cassini Entering atmosphere

At last the REAL story of the Cassini spacecraft can be told. Read the letters NASA doesn't want you to see! My Dearest Geneviève: I hope this missive finds you well. As far as my travels have taken me, you remain ever in my thoughts. Huygens and I celebrated the new year with the majestic ...
Read More